CRAPIC Design - Creative Radicalness Aimed at Peons with Irritating Cheesy DESIGN

As most good designers would tell you using stock photos is kinda like wiping your butt after a bad diarrhea. You may not like it, but other peoples will look at you funny if you don’t do it. A true designer likes to concentrate on the more important parts of graphic design, like putting drop shadows and bevels on text. That is the sort of thing that will help a design stand out. (Peon Designer Note: write that piece of advice down – it’s gold.)

But unfortunately, many times the peoples that pay me want to have pikshures on there stuff, so I have to use the stock photos sites. And since I have several months of experience with using stock photo online purchasing sites, I only thought it would be awesome of me to share my knowledge with you peon designers.

There are basically 2 categories of stock photos:

1. If you are doing design stuff for stuffy business peoples that work in buildings with a bunch of different floors, just get an image with people in suits shaking hands. If they want more than one picture, just use different angles or crops. (Peon Designer Note: If you don’t know what the word “crop” means, then you are demoted to whatever is below the rank of peon.)
2. If you are doing design stuff for young peoples, it doesn’t matter what image you use, you just need to make sure that you make it messy, or as the young peoples like to call it, “grungy.” The thing you need to know about young peoples is that they are very dirty and don’t bath very often. That is why they are into “grunge” design. I usually just bring the image into Photoshop and use that tool that looks like a brush (can’t remember what it’s called right now) and just close my eyes and move the mouse around for 5 seconds and… presto! Custom art in seconds! (Peon Designers: You are probably poor and can’t afford Photoshop so try the free “GIMP” software. And yes, you should feel ashamed of yourself until you can afford Photoshop.)

There’s actually a few more categories than that, but I know the Peons can’t remember more than 2 things at once, so let’s just call this part one of the “Choosing Stock Photography” series.

Here are some of the best stock photos I found while researching for this post the past couple minutes:

Pretty straightforward handshake…

Watch out! Multiple handshakes!

How are ya! My name is Chad! Pardon the lack of a suit coat. It’s casual Friday around here!!

I’m too busy with real work to find any of the youth stock photos, so figure it out yourself, peons.

For more sweet free stock photos, check these links out:

1. morgueFile
2. stock.xchange
3. EveryStockPhoto

What are your favorite stock photos?

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