There’s a new thing that peoples are talking about that’s called “going greens.” I studied up on it, and surprisingly, it actually has nothing to do with traveling to Ireland. It does have to do with the earth and stuff and making it cool down so it’s not so hot all the time. Check out some of my tips for freelancers on how to “go greens.”
There’s been a lot of talk about “going greens” these days. I looked it up on the internets and found out that it’s about helping the earth cool off by doing stuff like buying tofu, riding bikes and not drinking water or eating Twinkies. After a few more minutes of research I came up with a bunch of ideas for how freelance designers can “go greens.” A lot of this is pretty heavy science stuff, so if you don’t get it, you’re probably too stupid to even help the earth anyways. Watch out! It’s a “greens” Photoshop bomb!
Stop using the bathroom
Do you know how much water is wasted when you flush the toilet? I’m told it’s a lot. You know who lives in water? Dolphins, that’s who. Basically, every time do your thing and flush the toilet, you’re saying “Hey, entire species of all the dolphins in the world. I need a quick and easy way to get ride of my waste so I think I’ll just put it inside your house. I’m sure you don’t mind” Do you know how smart dolphins are? They are actually probably smarter than 75% of the people reading this right now. And if you just thought “Ha! Losers! Obviously I’m part of the ’smarter than a dolphin’ 25%,” you’re not. So after hearing my air tight argument, there’s really no way you can use a toilet again in good conscientiousnesessness. But now you’re probably wondering “What does that have to do with freelancing and what should I do with all my waste?” Don’t ponder that question too long, you’re too dumb to figure that out anyways. Luckily, Mr. CRAPIC has thought of that too….
Reuse your own waste
Two ideas for this: This first one is gonna sound pretty weird, but I read it on the internets, so it’s legit. Apparently when you want to grow some vegetables and stuff, they will grow super huge if you plant it in your own feces. I’m serious! It’s on the internets!! I totally thought that if you planted feces, a little feces tree would grow, but apparently that’s not how it works. I know for sure that dropping your #2 in the garden will help with the veggies, but it only makes sense that your tinkle could help them grow too. I can tell you one thing from experience though, make sure you wash off those veggies really well. Carrots and #2 stuck in your teeth is not pleasant. You can even use the veggies to make a gift basket for your clints. What’s that? You need a card to put in the gift basket? Read on dimwits. The second way to reuse your waste is to make cards out of it (booya!). Press it into thin pieces, like paper, and then trim them to card size. You can use them as thank you cards to send out to your clints when they give a bunch of Benjamins for making a sweet logo in Photoshop. Trust me, if you send them a card made not just out of any old feces you find laying around, but your own personal pressed feces, they will always remember you. Sometimes they even introduce you to some of their friends – like their lawyers or police officers. You just can’t beat that type of word of mouth advertising.
I came up with so much awesome information about “going greens” that I’ve decided to split this into 2 seperate posts. Keep your eyes peeled for part 2!!!
Are there other ways you are “going greens” as a freelancer?
If you are interested in other ways you can “go greens” as a freelancer, check out these sites:
- Greening Your Design Business (Freelance Switch)
- Design by Nature (Green graphic design resources)
- Rethink Design (Green graphic design resources)
Related posts:
- Going Greens for Freelancers, Part 2 There's new thing that peoples are talking about that's called...
Leave Your Response